Winds of Fate Blow Good Fortune to Sailing Sharks

It was a cold Mother's Day morning, the wind whipping sand storms across the dirt field.  When the dust settled, the bottom line was that the Sharks still remained undefeated atop the D - Division standings at 6-0, however critics are barking that they showed vulnerability against a team without a single victory.

Game One: 9-8 win

Taking early advantage of the wind wreaking havoc on the outfielders, Jesse Vella managed to turn another completely misplayed fly out into a home run to lead off the game.  While the wind was blowing on the field, it seemed that Blue Label manager Abdul Jaleel Ahmed was busy blowing the umpire before the game, resulting in calling Mike Zang's would-be grandslam into a foul ball later in the game.  Bushleague.  Still, the Sharks continued to surge and held a lead heading late into the game.

Then, on a day when it seemed fly balls would be the biggest problem either team had to face, the team discovered its true kryptonite: ground balls.  Error compounded upon error until the lead had been turned into a two run deficit.  In a splendid display of heroics, Neil Griffinberg came through with two outs in the bottom of the 7th to knock a two run rbi to win the game, crushing the risen spirits of the Blue Labels and driving their left fielder to tears.

"It's rough when you think you're gonna pull it out and then in the end you don't," Jamel Thomas offered his empathy.  "I had a kid like that once. At least once."

Manager Mike Cohen added, "We were there last year, so I know how they must feel.  Losing every week, whether by forfeit, mercy rule, or otherwise, it takes its toll on you.  There were nights I was so depressed I was actually happy to have my wife next to me in bed, I was so lonely.  I even had sex with her a time or two, forget about it."

Game Two: 6-4 win

The painfully close match up continued into game two.  In what must be a Guinness record, Ronnie Maiman managed to record the final out in every inning of the game, popping up to the pitcher in every at bat that anyone remembers.  Way to go, clean up.

Game two exposed both Avi Ribenbach's genitals in a bizarre turn of events at second base, and it also exposed another of the team's weaknesses: plate discipline.  Nearly everyone, including the author of this 100% factual narrative, is guilty of this, so please take it to heart.  The Blue Label pitching staff in game two was walking batters left and right, and many Sharks tried to be heroes and swing the bat, when a walk was likely.  This reporter suggests taking a lot more pitches if an opposing pitcher is having control issues.  They say that a walk's as good as a hit, but they leave out the part that a walk is better than an out.  Of course, if your name is Steve Rightfield, way to go on that solo shot to give a well received insurance run in the 6th.

As outfielder Mike Ropke said, "we need to be taking pitches like Caponi's wife takes my cock," which some inferred to mean that Ropke has 4 balls.  Ropke could not be reached for comment.

The Bay Sharks would like to thank all our mothers out there for lettin our pops throw it in there, without you this run at D-division softball immortality would be impossible.  Special thanks comes from Scott Slater, who did not own a pink bat to use during the game, but was proud to sport a pink thong to raise breast cancer awareness, and also to raise awareness that he is, in fact, gay.  Like we needed to be more aware.