Thoughts on Practice Yesterday

9 of the team members got together on Sunday morning to have a little warmup. Here's what we learned:

The team has definitely improved this year. Everyone knew the difference between a bat and a glove, and in general the field seemed to be filled with higher caliber players than last year. No real standouts additions, but at least everyone seems like they're "athletic" and understand the basic rules, strategies, and techniques of the game. This is far more than I thought last year.

Then again, there were three injuries on a morning of playing non-competitive softball. Not a good sign.

My sweatpants were not tight enough. Didn't feel right.

We at least look good at our new practice facility - the Sheepshead Bay field. What a spike.

Speaking of the field, thanks a lot to Griff and Zang for hooking that up. Also of interest, Zang is "good on his knees," at least so said Griff with a coy smile. What does he know that I don't? I'm not sure, but I intend to find out.

They say that spring is the season of love, and this is no more evident than on our team. A budding schoolyard romance can be awkwardly observed between Ribenbach and Maiman, who were constantly bickering like an old married couple, pulling each others hair, 69ing in the dugout, and in other ways just looking like a pair of two little kids who wanted to bang. Get it over with already, and let's play softball.

But maybe it's not Avi's fault. Maybe it's Ronnie's animal attraction. Looking back, Maiman almost got arrested two nights prior, it turns out, for sexually harassing coworker and school safety agent Rodriguez (I think?). Dubbing himself "Big Daddy" for the evening, Maiman was all over the lovely lady, begging to be handcuffed. "No keys, no problem!" He repeatedly excused himself to relieve himself in the bathroom. He said he had to piss but everyone around knew better from the softball bat he was packing in his jeans.

In light of recent developments, coach Cohen has suggested that the team add a circle jerk to its list of pre-game calisthenics to help take the edge off (alternate suggestion made by a certain someone - just invite Caponi's wife). The team was so ecstatic, it makes you wonder what is going to be inside the gatorade cooler he gets showered with after the team wins its record shattering second game this year.

contact info

everyone, either leave a comment here or email mike.ropke@gmail.com

your name, phone number, and email would be appreciated.

i'll start. mike ropke, email is above, phone # 5166415875

Nostalgia

Remember how much we rejoiced last year at the signing of rookie phenom Mike Ropke? And then he opened up the season with the 1-0 shutout, and we really thought we were starting to gel...well let's fuckin get psyched again, fellas! It's a brand new year, a brand new league, LET'S FUCKING DO THIS!

League Info

We're playing in the Kings County League http://www.leaguelineup.com/welcome.asp?url=kingscountysoftball.

There's not much info there as yet, I don't even know which division of theirs we're in. Anyway, all our games will be played at either Marine Park, Mill Basin, of Dyker Heights (which I can't say or type without giggling). I'm told that 3/4 of our games will begin at 8:30am, and 1/4 at 11:30am on Sundays.

More info to come, I guess.

ROSTER

Alright Shark fans, it's an exciting time to be alive! Winter's finally ending, and since last season fell apart I know we've all had a piece of ourselves missing. But like me and Caponi's wife last night, that void will soon be filled!

Here's a sneak peak at this year's all star line up:

Mike Cohen - our champion from the first post, Cohen is responsible for reviving this team like a phoenix from the ashes of last year's crashed and burned attempt at a season. He's probably the most desperate to get away from his wife for half a day a week.

Mike "I Love Giving People Quotated Nicknames" Ropke has a new pair of pants, and we're told they reach all the way down to his ankles! Ropke has voiced some displeasure with their fit, claiming they will be less aerodynamic and will slow him down.

Mike Santangelo, last year's skipper, is taking a more relaxed roll this year as just a player. Maybe some bad coaching decisions last year won't be repeated this season and we will beat our personal best of one win.

Ronnie "The Natural" "Bubby Ramirez" "I Was Too Drunk To Remember Calling Myself These Nicknames" Maiman is spending his freetime coaching boy's JV this season, but if last June taught us anything, it's that he won't be able to show them how to hit a fastball. Good luck, JV.

Jesse Vella kept his calves in shape this winter training for a bid at the 2011 Iditarod.

Deyate Hagood won the school fantasy football league in the offseason and, on more than one occasion, beat off in the shower.

Jamel "Moosecock" Thomas is rumored to have picked up his new nickname in the offseason due to a cultural delicacy he found a craving for while touring the tundra of Canada.

Danny the Foreman - last name optional, big left handed swing mandatory.

Mike Goldberg - Yeah, we wish.

Avi Ribenbach is a certified gym teacher, which tells us that he definitely knows his sports and probably knows his alphabet, too.

Neil Griffenberg - not only a gym teacher, but an assistant principal! Besides Avi's skill set, this means he can probably kiss a good ass too. (Don't get me fired, Griff!)

Mike Zang - this newcomer is a welcome addition to the team, as he showed off his stuff last spring on the school field. Also between him and Griffenberg, we hope to have access to the school field for practice time!

Rueben This Guy

Russel That Guy

Scott the Other Guy

*****

Are these friends real? Let's hope so, as they bring our roster from 11 t0 16. Which sounds like a lot of bench time now, but I think we all remember what happened last year...to that end, we've also gotten old timers Chris "Ropke Fucked my Wife" Caponi and Eric "I Also Fucked Caponi's Wife" Berg to sign on as alternates, who may be able to show up in a pinch.


So there you have it. Eight returning from last year, and three to eight new guys, plus a few alternates. Goals #1 and 2 for this season - more than one win, no forfeits.

To aid this...please make sure to submit your name and however it's easiest to reach you (phone number, email, aim, bat signal) either with Cohen or as a comment here.

DROWNED SHARKS SWIM AGAIN

It had been a long winter, but he had weathered the many storms and survived this long. As the frost subsided from the grass below, and his breath began to fade in front of him, he knew that his journey was far from over, and he could not make it alone. From the peaks of the highest mountains, he called forth his allies through ancient magicks. One by one, they rose from their slumber, eight champions in total, prepared to fight for their honor and their freedom. They must band together and travel the land searching for more allies to aid them in their quest. And let no time be wasted! - for there were the sounds of battle in the distance, and the smell of blood in the air. Their season of reckoning had come - softball season.